Saturday, February 12, 2011

Spyro: Endorsing Bastard Children Since 2011

What have you done to my childhood?

This is the new face of Spyro the Dragon. That's right. This frog-like thing. Not this:

Not this:

Hell, not even this:

That little rat looks like the old Spyro had sex with a frog, and this freak is the result. Look, I'm all for change. I like new things as much as I love the old. But this is not Spyro. According to reports, this is a new face for Spyro. The purple dragon will not only be a video game character, but also a toy character. Each copy of the game will include toy figurines (I believe about four, Spyro included) that you will use inside the game. You'll hook up the toys to the console through some means and those toys will be imported into the game via a "portal."

This game can be played online with friends, and the toy can be taken anywhere to a friends' house to trade and do whatever. You can buy more toys at a retailer, and then use those to progress through the game (which sounds incredibly expensive; rich kids: rejoice). It'll likely be an action-adventure game, and could possibly offer exploration like the original Spyro games, but really without Spyro himself. The toys use stats to level up and gain new powers to take on more powerful enemies.

This sounds awesome. I wouldn't mind this if this wasn't a Spyro game. Look, the original Spyro was a simple, platforming character with charm and enthusiasm. This is not Spyro. This is Neopets. I don't care if someone says, "Quit being such a prick and a purist." This is not Spyro.

Oh, and what's worse? They've hired the writers for Toy Story and Hollywood composer Hans Zimmer, whom you know is my favorite composer. This put a complete U-turn on my opinions. Disney I can understand; they're a money-munching company. But Hans? Dude, go work for a good company. Activision is a corrupt wannabe. Shit...


  1. D: What the **** happened to Spyro!? I miss the cute little dragon. *crawls in a corner and sobs*

  2. Welcome to Activision. How may we take your childhood? :/

  3. The toy thing means crap if you have no friends to trade with.

    As if the added characters weren't bad enough, now they completely remake the cute little guy into that ugly...frog....thing... It makes me sad to be a Spyro fan.

  4. Im glad in my childwood times spyro had a cute face and i always remembered the game because i loved the dragon... i bet kids now will go to bed and have nightmares after playing the new spyro, i bet they wont forget the game but because they ended traumatized with that ugly